Incidence no. 12

19.06.2016

6.30 p.m.

No ones home, but me.

Studying, finishing my  syllabus for my Thursday presentation, I, in my room.

Easy distractions, here and there, I get up, thirsty, thinking, ‘May be I will make some tang for myself’.

Filling myself up with a glassful of tang, I head back to my room.

Peripheral vision, a bitch they say, makes you see thing that don’t really exist.

I see a shadow, sitting on my couch.

I curse the peripheral vision and get back to work.

But something, some unknown, unfathomable energy makes me  look up, to the couch.

And there she is. A very normal looking lady. Middle aged, petit, slender. A white sari with brown floral print. Staring right back at me, smiling. Sitting, immobile.

Me, taken aback, standing at the other end of the passage, staring, trying to grasp what was happening.

She gets up. Turns to her left, facing the main door. Slowly, she walks towards it. And I walk, towards her.

Just as I cross the passage, reach the place where she sat, she moves out, through the shut door.

No, I don’t go open the door. I am not an idiot. I look at the couch, the sheets are creased, the foam is compressed.

An imaginary figure or reality, that is the question.

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A mood swing???

I have absolutely convinced that almost all of you have gone through it, the phases! 

Everything goes smoothly till one fine day you just lose it, your calm, your composure. The emptiness fill you up, to the brim. And you do not know why! You are cranky, frustrated and tired of everything around you, within you.

Some might call it a mood swing, but I am not sure if that is the correct nomenclature. 

So bored at times, that you don’t even want to indulge in your favourite pass time. You don’t want to talk to anybody, just want to be left alone, aloof form the world. A sudden desire to get away from the hocus-pocus and rest, peacefully, in the Himalayas. A phase where solitude is your only aim in life.

 A chaos!

A self loathing, miserable sort of a time.

Precarious, disturbing.

A gloomy cloud, engulfing, for a reason unknown!

A Gift, Unexpected.

Satisfied, she wakes,

Corporeal, her happiness,

Memories, of the previous night,

Wonderful, marvellous,

Bare intentions, serpentine,

Thirst quenching,

In a draft of emotions,

She lays, observing,

A heart, hitting the ribs,

Heaving, rhythmically, a chest,

Naked, unguarded,

A shoulder, contoured,

Perfect, responsible,

A recurring thump, carotids,

A face, so calm, dreaming,

Harmless, Innocent,

An unintentional desire, raw,

A forever, in a moment,

She smiled, content,

Unaware, poor girl,

A purpose, mischievous,

A future, disastrous.

 

 

 

 

Incidence no. 11

Ever sat ALONE in a Library?

I was, a few days back, preparing for my group activity.

It was just past noon, people had gone out for lunch. As I didn’t feel very hungry, I waited back.

That was a mistake.

All quiet all around, not a sound but that of my breath.

I was pretty sure no one came in, as I sat facing the door.

Then I saw, this figure, walking past, behind me. I saw it in the reflection on my glasses.

I turned around, there was no one, but only me.

Mind Games

Reality isn’t what we see, but what we understand.

In the past few years, I have had the opportunity to observe a lot of people, people belonging to various strata of the society. However, the one thing that has deeply embedded my mind is the fact that everybody is different and yet, everybody is the same.

I was sitting peacefully, in a corner, observing the lot before me.

A mixed crowd, it was.

Some sad, burdened with the burden of life; some happy, cherishing the fruits of life; some focussed, some disturbed. However, if observed carefully, they were all one, brought together with the same desire, the desire to have more, to have something different, to grow, to prosper. A cohort of the thoughtfully abled but wilfully disabled individuals, kneeling in front of Thee, asking for more, lot more than what they had.

Greed has been an emotion known to the mankind since when it came into existence. We all want more of this and more of that. Greed is that one feeling which binds us all. Divided by these worldly boundaries, religion and faiths, we are all the same, hungry and greedy.

 You may think that you are not greedy, but every time you look up to Him and ask for something, you are being greedy.

A thought keeps visiting me every now and then,

Why the Greed to Get, why not the Greed to Give? Why are we so bound to our materialistic lives? Why not share what we have? Why are we so selfish?

Why are we what we are?

Metamorphosis!!!

Today, when I look back at the situation I was in a year ago, I smile to myself because I survived. Life has changed amazingly in the past calendar year.

The journey has been overwhelming, a metamorphosis, from a girl into a woman. 

Challenged with difficulties at every step, from a tiny hurdle to a immovable mountain, I have grown.

Nothing much has changed, I am still me but at the same time nothing resembles the way life was a year ago. Everything I that I believed would last long, has perished.

The recklessness in me has gone, far away. I don’t take hasty decisions anymore. Irrational reasoning has turned into rational thoughts.

The priorities have changed. Family first. Always.

I have become a little more focussed towards myself, unlike what I was before. My ambitions have soared, my dreams have flourished.

My view of situations has changed. I feel a little mature, though the child in me still lives, I have learned to understand things in a different manner.

My outlook towards life has changed. My wants and desires are less selfish. I feel free of materials, my needs are more emotional.

Everything has changed and yet, I am still the same.

Incidence no. 10

We were done with all the chores for the day and were headed to our respective rooms.

It was around 10pm.

Bidding goodnights, we just turned around, for no reason, to face the kitchen window…

There she stood,

Brown eyes, red lips and white flowing hair.

She looked us in the eye and said,

“Let me in, kids!!”

We did.

She was our landlady.

Incidence no. 9

The Store Room

Our new home has a store room which is locked and we have been instructed not to open it at any cost.

As it is a rented apartment, we think it will be good if we listen to the owner.

She says they are valuables stored in there.

The Incidence

One late evening when we were busy enjoying music and making dinner, we heard a knock. We checked the door, there was no one at it.

There was  knock again, only this time we realised it came from within the house.

From the store room.