Are you seeing someone?

Let the sky be painted in pink and blue,

Let the emotions flow,

Let’s speak the truth.

As annoying as the question may seem, it needs to be dealt with, once and for all.

Yes, I am seeing someone and that someone is Me.

And then you will be judged for you spoke the unspoken.

With somber eyes and numbed desires,

Let love take you higher.

That’s not the case always.

Once they loved, once they cared.

Once there was nothing, but peace everywhere.

There will come a day when you will fall in love, so unconditional, so divine that it will make you uncomfortable.

And you will try with all your heart to nourish it and flourish it, for which you will work very hard, make sacrifices, be a fool.

But not everyone will be able to bear the weight of your love.

And not everyone will appreciate the efforts.

And you will be taken for granted.

And soon you will have nothing new to offer, because you already gave it all.

And then your someone will find someone new, for it is the human nature to be attracted to the better.

Not everybody has the strength to nurture the good towards the better.

And then you will wonder, “Where did I go wrong?”, when you didn’t.

The fights of the thoughts,

The turmoil, the chaos.

And then will come calm. So beautiful. So fierce. And you will learn to nurture yourself, with all your love.

And one you are ready, nutured and complete, you will find that someone, nutured and complete, and you will complement each other and all that had happened will stop mattering, once and for all.

Alas! See yourself, before you see someone.

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Trust me, I don’t remember you…

Nothing changes in a day to day basis, but when you look back everything has changed.
The once very careful you who has now least bothered about everything. Like, you’ve finally made up with life, accepted it the way it is. 

The once curious you who is now not interested whatsoever. Like, you’ve learnt all the lessons in life.

The once always smiling who has now turned into a sarcastic retard, not bothered about what people understand anymore.

The once you who is not you anymore.

Doctors – the Vulnerable Elite!


Sunday,

March 12th, 2017.

Not such a ‘Happy Holi’ after all! While the entire country was trying to burn evil, the devil was burning a Doctor, the one they call God-like.

11 p.m.

Dhule, Maharashtra.

A young man was brought to the government hospital which lacked the facility of a ‘CT scan’ and was asked to be taken to another hospital which had the required facility that could save the man’s life. Outraged, by the absence of the machine, the crowd broke out and bashed the doctor, with rods and bars. Poor doctor, the saviour, failed to defend himself. No one, not even the relatives of the patients who he had treated came forward to help him. Brutal, cruel, inhuman act of violence led to loss of an eye for the doctor and the life of the patient.

Who, here, was at fault?

The doctor?

The relatives?

Or the Administration which could not provide the required machine?


Whoever it may be, it was the Doctor who faced the mob.


Sunday, the 12th – Sunday, the 19th

Nearly 6 to 7 episodes of attacks occurred all over the state of Maharashtra.

This wasn’t the first time. Incidences of such violence had been etched in history, since time immemorial. However, no action has been taken, whatsoever, till date.

In such a situation, how is a doctor supposed to protect himself???


Sunday,

March 19th, 2017,

Maharashtra, India.

The day, they realised, only they could save themselves, scared, at total of 4500 doctors in the state called in for a ‘Mass Leave’, not a strike (as represented by the media), for they knew that no one else would come to their rescue.

And voila! What a determination to put them in the ‘Bad Light’!

Dragged into the High court, expelled, insulted by the ministers, misled by the authorities, negatively portrayed by the media, Handicapped by the pressure but united, they continued the fight for 6 long days.


Their demands were only Security, on ground, no more assurances.

  1. Increase in the number of guards
  2. An alarm system and
  3. A pass system for relatives.

Was it so difficult that they had to wait for 6 days so that the Government would fulfil their demands? Apparently, yes.


This fight isn’t new. .

Why did it take so many years and so many wounds to make the authorities realise that the Doctors have a right to security as well?

Why has the government been so adamant?

Why don’t the people support?

Why is the media so against?

The questions remain unanswered.


Though the government has agreed to the terms, for how many days will the security remain?

Will the doctors not be attacked again?

Will the alarms function?

Will the people obey with the pass system?

Let’s wait and watch!

 

The World Congress on Drug Discovery and Development, 2016, Bangalore!

Where do I start!

As pharmacologists, the idea of a world congress on drug discovery and development, along with the presence of eminent personalities like our honourable President and Prime Minister, lured most of us into taking a trip to Bangalore. As an excited student, an amount of rupees 4.5K didn’t seem much back then. But now, I can undoubtedly say that we got duped, with respect to both time and money.

Going back a few months, the first time the congress got announced on the web, the pharmacological society was thrilled. Something new in the market! Too much enthusiasm! New studies were started, completed and drafted for presentation to the congress, in the hope of an amazing audience. Here, a little praise for the marketing skill of the web developer as well as the organizing committee requires a mention! Bravo!

Everything said and done, the programme schedule was no awaited. It came, yes, it did; a week before the meet. It was then when people realised that ‘The World Congress on DRUG Development and Discovery’ was amalgamated with a Conference on ‘Gerontology and Geriatrics’. Ouch! Too late to back out now! We were also informed that the schedule was different than the one posted on the web, so we need not worry. Lies!

We, as doctors, don’t mind learning something about old age and related problems, no. What we do mind is being misinformed about the actual purpose of the conference! Still, we attended.

Keeping aside all the chaos, the lectures were scheduled from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. There was no breakfast on day 1! On days 2 and 3, we did have some tea and cookies. What a relief! The lectures mentioned in the schedule were not the same as the one being addressed. Lie no 2! Also, the paper and poster presentations went alongside with the guest lectures in other auditoriums. Thus, all those who wanted to listen to the guest talks, did miss a few of them.

Let us now talk about the chairpersons. With all due respect to the chairpersons for the presentations, a person informant of a particular subject as a chairperson for a particular session, would’ve been immensely appreciated.

Well, finally, with all the issues mentioned above, the 3 days did come to an end. But they ended with a bang. Credit hours!

As most of us are aware, that every state and every country has its method of writing registration numbers of their doctors. The organizers failed to realise this and made a mess of all the certificates, which of course they had to reprint.

Hence, it wasn’t that great a waste, we at least got credit hours and an up-gradation in our CV. But, if I were asked to attend the same conference being held in Kolkata in 2107, I would think a hundred times, in fact more than a 100 times!!!

A mood swing???

I have absolutely convinced that almost all of you have gone through it, the phases! 

Everything goes smoothly till one fine day you just lose it, your calm, your composure. The emptiness fill you up, to the brim. And you do not know why! You are cranky, frustrated and tired of everything around you, within you.

Some might call it a mood swing, but I am not sure if that is the correct nomenclature. 

So bored at times, that you don’t even want to indulge in your favourite pass time. You don’t want to talk to anybody, just want to be left alone, aloof form the world. A sudden desire to get away from the hocus-pocus and rest, peacefully, in the Himalayas. A phase where solitude is your only aim in life.

 A chaos!

A self loathing, miserable sort of a time.

Precarious, disturbing.

A gloomy cloud, engulfing, for a reason unknown!

I don’t want my child to become a doctor

I came across this blog written almost a year ago, I suggest all of you to read it.

Here is the link.

To the author,

Respected Sir,
I was sincerely touched by your post. It took me ten years back in time, in 2006, when I was sitting with my parents and making a decision for life. It reminds of how my mother told me that I should take up commerce and not science, but 15 as I was, so adamant, I took up science because I wanted to be a doctor. My parents are very supportive, they supported me through out and today I am a doctor and am current pursuing post graduation.
As kids doing graduation, we aren’t much aware of the crisis around us.
The first time I got a glimpse of reality was during my internship when I was posted in that casualty and a man walked in with a knife.
Similarly, I became aware of how patients relatives lie when they want to hide their mistakes and put the blame on the treating physician. i.e. they bought a dead girl, said she has been unconscious after she fell of the swing, the doctor has to save her life, and then we saw a ligature mark on her neck.
I was baffled when my own friend was assaulted by a patient’s relative during his night shift, in the first week of post graduation. That has seriously left a mark on him as well as the people who know him.
I am very much in agreement with you that I shall not let my child become a doctor in India, just like my mother had a said some 10 years ago.
I don’t want to say it, but I got into this profession to help people, now I look at myself asking for help. And somewhere deep down I do regret not listening to my mother. I wish my child listens to me.
Thank you for writing this blog.

Regards,

Dr. Maheshi Chhaya.

 

Don’t give up, yet…

I picture myself sitting on my couch with a cup of steaming coffee in my hand.
The cup is so hot against my hands but everything else is so cold, so numb.
I am looking out of the window, its hazy.
All I see a these tiny little drops racing their way down the glass.
And there’s a lot of lightening and thunder, likes the Gods are debating.
I am thoughtless.
I don’t feel anything.
My hands are burning, my ears are blue.
My insides are hollow, my eyes are full.
A voice in my head jeeps crying.
Another voice is my head tell me I am a fool.
But there two eyes starting at me, through the window.
They speak to me…

You are not done yet, not so soon…

Flourish